Personification of my Nafs

There is this horrible man at my job, who just so happens to have all of the power over all of the “worldly” parts of my life!!!

He is in charge of;

Getting me (and all employees) all supplies needed at work. Always halfway accomplished by him. Always really late.

Getting broken things fixed at work. Always done halfway, jerryrigged etc.

He’s the biggest saboteur in the universe.
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This jerk is also in charge of bringing me (and all employees at my job) to this country (airplane tickets, scheduling, etc.). The “travel agent” he uses is the biggest gangster I’ve ever met. Actually, everyone he does business with from outside our workplace are all pretty gangster-ish. Yikes.

When I accepted this job, I waited for at least 2 months for him to send me my airplane tickets and get me here. My new employee coming this week has waited for 3! Poor chap, he and his wife quit their jobs, shipped all of their personal posessions here (which have already arrived, way before them!), and have been living with their parents, just waiting for the freaking tickets to come so they can get here!

All of this, because Mr. Gangster apparently gets cheap thrills from watching others suffer. This snake is the most evil, conniving pawn of Satan I have seen in my life. Really, he has to be short-changing people intentionally.

Problems like these don’t happen this often randomly. It’s statistically impossible. So, what kind of a human being consistently gives others the short end of the stick intentionally? I’ll tell you….an evil, awful, despicable person, that’s who.

Oh, but it gets even more terrible, especially when you consider another aspect of the situation I haven’t touched on yet; this guy is shafting children who are handicapped. He is not getting them the necessary wheelchairs they need to be sitting comfortably, orthopaedically, etc. I mean, it’s not just a matter of oh, the kids aren’t happy, they are picky or something. These are kids with severe handicapps; cerebral palsy, degenerative brain disorders, etc. For instance, one girl has her legs just dangling off the edge of her wheelchair; her back is therefore carrying all of the stress of the weight of her body pulling/pushing on it. By not getting these kids the correct wheelchairs, he is effectively torturing innocent kids!

How many cirlces of hell are there? He will definitely be in the lowest circle of Hell.

I am pretty sure this clown is embezzeling money. It’s the only thing that makes sense that could explain the company and it’s employees’ situation. So many things just can’t be missing, broken, or half-assed, under “natural conditions”.

It’s a trickle-down flow of cash, so as long as the rich guy above him that runs the show (funds our place of work) isn’t hurt, this bozo isn’t accountable to anyone; he can do whatever he wants to the rest of us; we are beneath him. There’s no system of checks-and-balances here in this country. Dorothy is definitely not in Kansas anymore.


The gangster is also in charge of getting me (and all employees) suitable housing, and helping when something goes wrong with the housing situation. Basically we're SOL.

He also was the one who “helped us” when we were new to the country; he “helped us” rent this terribly nasty car that was falling apart (front bumper to be precise), was full of cigarette butts/smoke/smell/and ashes. He also actually allowed one of his “guys” to drive around for 2 whole days, knowing that it was rented for me and that I would have to pay for the damn thing, before he handed it over to us (with no gas in it of course, he ran it all the way down to empty). We found this out after we were finished with the car (we had it for 2 months) and went to turn it in and pay. We knew the first day the driver from my place of work had delivered it to us; we knew the starting date, right? Wrong! Come to pay the bill and the first day of rental was Thursday, not Saturday! The snake-in-the-grass’s driver had played in our rental car, on our pocket, for 2 whole days! Yee-gods!

He is a gigantic obstacle in the way of success for our place of work.

So, what does this all mean?

I keep asking myself, there has got to be some lesson here. God doesn’t put such an outstandingly difficult person/situation in my life for no reason. There is a reason I am seeing this. There is a reason this is happening to me.

I figured it out. This guy is the personification of my Nafs. My Nafs, just like this gangster, is up to no good. The Nafs want to control all aspects of my life. They want to have power, Absolute Power.

Just like this gangster at work, they like having power, and if the Nafs have power without a system of checks-and-balances (connection with God, Tasawuuf, prayer, Presence, etc.) in place, they will abuse this power, and make everything and everyone within their power suffer, just for fun! Just for their trifling gain! Suffer, just so I can watch you writhe! (ie my First, my Nafs effect my Psyche, all of my thoughts; all of my thoughts in turn effect all of my emotions; my emotions are effecting my actions and my body/somatic system; my actions effect all of my relationships with other people, my performance at work, etc.).